Ugh. I can’t think of any other way to start this post. If you have ADHD you most likely understand from the title alone….
We break stuff. A lot. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. That stupid bull; it never sits still. There’s always something to break. There’s always something to question, challenge, move on from…
Once one thing passes, we move on to the next, repeating the same cycle of events…
(Second wind) excitement
Then we repeat the process onto the next thing.
Boredom. Boredom happens easily. We get sucked in. Sucked into a black hole of emptiness. It’s hard for anyone else to understand. But that hole-it’s suffocating. It’s debilitating, boring, lifeless, and full of self loathing (a feeling that should NOT exist).
We thrive off of that wild bull. It runs and bucks without regard for anyone’s else’s safety or possessions. It doesn’t think about the consequences of all of the broken dishes it could cause. It doesn’t stop for a moment to listen. It’s anxious, scared, unfamiliar, and awkward. At the same time though, it’s….amazing.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is…
Sometimes it’s ok to “break stuff”, even when people are looking. You need to let that bull out whenever you can. It might be immature, loud, and inconvenient, but you can tame it over time.
For now, just breathe. Things will get better.
Oh, and don’t let anyone tell you how to take of your “bull”. Only YOU know what it needs.