“Oh wow, that ADHD really compliments your anxiety.”

Like what I did there? 

Two peas in a pod they are. When I can’t sit still, anxiety steps in. It tells me to stop. It tells me if I don’t sit still my world will come crashing down. It nags ever so efficiently, that if I don’t continue to analyze every single aspect of the confrontation I had earlier with my neighbor concerning the placement of my vehicle parked legally on the street in front of their house, that I will never rest. 

As soon as anxiety’s done it’s job winding me up to the point of insomnia, ADHD steps up to the plate and scrambles any sort of solution I might be able to come up with-tacos! I really want some tacos. I wonder who invented tacos? I like nachos too. Cheese is my favorite. I should make lasagna. Italy would be an amazing place to travel. I want to ride in one of those boats with the mime looking guys. Do mimes still exist? Exist. Reminds me a lot of extinction. How long ago did dinosaurs roam the earth? Rome. I should check out Rome…3000. That was a badass movie. “This. Is. Sparta!”

I can’t watch 3000. The part where the guy gets kicked down a giant hole-I can’t deal with that right now. Falling down. Falling in general. Ugh. I might have to go over the Chesapeake Bay bridge soon. What if someone fell off right when I was driving over it? What if I fell off??? Could someone survive that fall? I better find another way. I need to find a way to avoid going over that bridge. 

I should probably call about our cable bill. We owe too much money. It can’t be right. Ugh. I really hate talking on the phone. What do I say? What if I don’t make sense? What if I can’t get out the right words? You know what? Screw it. I’ll just pay the extra. 

I’m so incredibly bored. There’s so much dust in this room. I need to clean it. If I don’t do it….well I’m sure it will still be there tomorrow. Does it matter? Cleaning is sooooooo boring. What if someone comes over though? Oh God no. What if I clean everything, but forget something major like cleaning the bathroom? My friends will think I’m a slob. I’m going to clean it.

This duster sucks. Dust is flying everywhere. Why didn’t I do this sooner? It’s all my fault this house is a mess. I forgot to watch walking dead last night. Oh! Oh my God, what if zombies were real? You know it’s not that far off from being possible. Hmm…what could I use as a weapon if a zombie came at me?? Knives? Luckily we have plenty of knives. If I turned into a zombie, I would want someone to put me out of my misery. 

I just texted my friend. It’s been 5 minutes and no answer. Is she pissed at me? I can’t remember if I said anything to make her mad. Maybe she’s in the shower. I need to wash my hair. What if I’m damaging my hair by straightening it all the time? I totally am. I hate washing my hair though. Dry shampoo is awesome. Who ever invented that should get a medal. 

I could invent stuff.  Oh there’s a spider! Where’s my shoe?! 1…2…3…I can’t! What if it’s Charlotte? Charlottes web??? I’m sorry Charlotte. Almost killed you. Spiders have like 25 eyes. Thank God we don’t have that many eyes. Oh crap. I need to order more contacts. 

My eyes are horrible. What if I got kidnapped and they left my glasses and contacts behind???? I would be totally screwed. 


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