Candy, nightmares, and insomnia..

GET ready, parents. It’s coming…

Check the title. People with small humans will be able to deduce exactly what I’m referring to….oh yeah. HALLOWEEN. (Insert evil laugh). 

In a few short weeks your children will be running around in costumes (most of them way over priced and lacking quality), asking strangers for candy. It’s the exact thing you’ve taught them NOT to. Buuuut….it’s ok. It’s Halloween.

Don’t get me wrong here. I LOVE Halloween. Love it. It’s second behind Christmas in my book. Pretending to be someone or something else, getting to play with makeup I bought forever ago when I was going through my smoky eye phase-I’m all about it. In fact-I’m probably more into than than my kids……

However. However… (pause).

Let’s start with the costumes. Let’s be real here. The older kids usually have the best costumes. The little kids (adorable as they are….and they ARE), are usually something cute like pikachu or Elsa. The big kids, who are no longer afraid of the dark, are the ones who BRING it. Zombies with green blood dripping down their arm, witches with limbs missing, vampires covered in blood-these costumes are what make Halloween awesome, and non boring for adults. 

Here’s the problem. What entertains us adults, terrifies the little ones.  Many of us own these little boogers. We love them to pieces. However, this particular holiday presents many challenges for the parents of children aged 7 and under.

Here is why:

Clowns. (No explanation….wait really? Have you not seen the news???)

Haunted houses. The horror is guaranteed  to keep everyone awake in your house for the next week.

Crowds of kids wearing the same costume as your kid. Enter whole new level of stress.”Wait. Is that your iron man, or mine??”

Houses with their lights off. “Mommy! Why aren’t they answering the door?? CANDY!!”

Houses with bowls out which contain an attached message to only take “2” pieces of candy….


Lots of walking one way while burning through your child’s ability to walk the way back.

Candy. “Can I eat just ONE piece NOW??” No. No you may not. 

Unleashed dogs.

Drunk people.




Lack of sleep.

Monsters hiding in closets.

Scary movies.


“No. you may NOT have another piece of candy!!”


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