Morning routines and the toothpaste massacre that is my bathroom…

Mornings suck. Bottom line. There’s no sugar coating it. 

This week, following spring break, has been the worst. Neither of my children want to get out of bed (nor do I), resulting in the mad rush to get out the door to school on time. 

On an average week day, we begin with yours truly, getting out of bed after hitting the snooze button at least once or twice. I drag myself down stairs barely awake, silently begging God with everything in me, that it isn’t actually time to wake up. After five minutes of this, I accept reality and begrudgingly make myself a cup of coffee (provided I’m awake enough to actually do this correctly). Next I sit down in the dark (because the light is just too much to handle at this hour), and eat my “breakfast”-which is usually a granola bar. 

After my “breakfast” I slowly ascend the stairs  and head to our room to get dressed. I hate this part. I don’t want to be the “pajama mom” dropping my daughter off at school, but I also don’t have the time or care enough to get fully dressed with makeup and the whole deal. Lately, I’ve been settling on activewear. It says-  “hey she’s on her way to the gym. Way to go mom!” (Sidenote: I have actually been gong to the gym) However, if you don’t feel like working out….no one will ever know.

Head to toe in my activewear, I open each child’s door and turn on their lights. This usually takes a good five minutes just to get them out of bed. They head downstairs to breakfast, while I finally get to pour that cup of coffee (if I remember to). After they’ve finished eating, and we’ve argued about clothing, they’re sent to the bathroom to brush their teeth….

 My children are finally able to brush teeth without supervision. They’ve been doing a great job on their own after lots of instruction. However, this is the messiest part of my morning.  

When I walk into the bathroom and turn on the light, I usually am presented with the same scene-a smurf has been murdered in our bathroom. That’s the only explanation. There is no possible way anyone could make this much of a mess from simply brushing teeth. The counter has puddles all over it. Next to the puddles are blue smears, blue blobs, and frothy circles which contain toothpaste lids and random dental floss picks scattered throughout. The kids mouthwash bottle is missing the lid, probably because whoever murdered the smurf, also tried to drown it in green mouthwash-losing the lid in the process. Looking around I notice that 5 more toothbrushes have been discovered and utilized in this murder. Again, I have no explanation for this. Maybe they felt threatened by the smurf, and felt the need for more weaponry? Obviously, my kids would know that only one toothbrush is needed to brush their teeth. 


Unfortunately the smurf is always an innocent casualty in our morning routine. Hopefully from here on out, no more smurfs will be harmed in the cleaning of my chidren’s teeth. 

They are far too messy to clean up.


3 thoughts on “Morning routines and the toothpaste massacre that is my bathroom…

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